Inspirareyla

I realised this a while ago and I knew I had to let go. I was always reluctant to put it into writing because I knew that that minute I wrote it down, it became real and it meant that I could not lie to myself or escape it anymore. And this is hard. It is so freaking hard. It's so much easier to hold on to what you are familiar with even if it hurts you, because at least there is certainty and you know what's going to happen next, even if it's not what you want. Letting go means having to face uncertainty. And that uncertainty can mean growth, but it also can mean pain and having to start again from square one. It means I have to unlearn everything that I have learnt over the last few years. It means I have to think about the impact of all of those years on my mental health, and forgive myself so that I have the chance to move on. It's so easy to be like YEP this is the moment that I am going to make that change in my life and go forward, but it's not easy. It's...

Tonight. 12.51am to be precise. Crazy right? It's never easy to face the true fears that lie within your deepest self. Maybe that's why I kept ignoring it, pretending that it never existed. But I was wrong. The turnstile of life draws the most vulnerable and true parts of you out, and yet I fail to see that I am limited. I am limited by myself. It's almost impossible for me to acknowledge the reality at times, to say for once that I may well and truly desire to explore beyond that which I have been given. Why, still, do I remain trapped? Do these words I let flow even create fathomable sentences? Is this the reason I was brought into this admittedly small and time bound world which will eventually consume me before pledging to another soul?  These question I pose, I leave for myself to answer but realise how much more confused it only makes me. That emptiness. It's eating me away leaving me lost and open to a soul of darkness and falsity. But then, it is I who brought u...

The days. Flying by ever so fast yet the pain of confusion wears away slowly. Comparing the fast paced life with the soft and unhealed wounds of yesterday seemingly contradict each other. One is a wind that cannot be caught and the other a dream delved into every second. Though, I must say, this is what makes everything so beautiful. The ability to put yourself in the spotlight, exposed to the potential failure and harm, but still persevering and taking the chance. When all that matters is to win and be a part of expectations, the true essence is missed out upon. Confusion. That's what remains. To satisfy all is not an option, but to do good for all is an aim worth fighting for. Left alone on my own, the great world my critic, my young and flustered self a victim almost. A victim. Victim to what? Answerable to who? Wronged which aspect of life? I am my own victim. With the great exposure to opportunities comes the great threat of failure. A woman of color with a headscarf, two st...

Trapped in a moment of overwhelming responsibilities, I sit here confused yet calm. To escape, I assume. Writing is my path of walk when there is no other step so comforting and relaxing. One task, then another, accumulating endlessly until there is no eye to see the world beyond. Almost inescapable. Almost, but not quite. I guess it is at times as such when one begins pondering the depths of life. Is this purely just a matter of intrigue or perhaps another face of procrastination? Nonetheless, it's a time of great thought, probably the best self advice comes when there are numerous things impending at my mind. And here, I will attempt to organise my unkempt thoughts into fathomable words, my mind seeping through nothing but an arrangement letters. Tonight. A time I had not imagined yet a time that is nearing too fast. Potential fear? Or maybe just uncertainty. I do not know. There is however an undeniable and painstakingly constant reality rushing to make a grand entrance. I co...

Moments. A moment of hope. A moment of despair. The truth. Is it what's said or does it hide in that which is heard? The words of the mind most certainly can contradict the beating of the heart. Pleasures that seem so dear vanish once exposed to the reality and temporary breath I breathe. The human heart is quite funny at times, feeling greatly affected by those you don't even know. Today, a young girl returned to Allah SWT after fighting a form of children's cancer, neuroblastoma. May Allah SWT grant patience to her family and give Princess Aliza a place in Jannatul Firdaus. I had followed this young girl's story for a while, and was aware that her treatments had failed and she was being sent back to her home in Netherlands. But I guess it isn't as simple when reality strikes and the truth lingers over leaving nothing less than a broken heart. This little girl has fused great inspiration to me. Who am I and why am I here? Being so caught up in the midst of mat...

The walk up the path may be a difficult one, the only way to ease the boundaries is through self respect and belief. But what happens when the faith is lost within oneself? Yet others appear to withhold their expectations in you? Today, it all came crumbling in my palms, with none left to turn to. It is this expression, one where I can be assured through which I won't be judged and expectations are but there. The pressure certain people can impose on your life can be mountainous, you don't quite realise until you are forced to take a breath. Amid it all, you happen to forget what it is that you truly want; your ambitions and desires. Although, what you want seems to be immersed in the irrelevant aspects of thought as the magnetism of fulfilling the unaccomplished dreams of others happens to be what we toil at with our heart and souls. Yet when can we be assured that it is time to forgive our self and begin to repair the shattered aspirations? It is in this process that your rea...

Tonight was amongst the nights where I begin to question many things. My choices, my life, my perspective; it's all being put under the light and I see myself making decisions I otherwise would not have fathomed. More often than not, such moments make me happy. It comes to me as a differential point between what truly matter and what I have left to perceive as important. Sudden change can bring about good. "Change is an inevitable process". Oh my love for such concept cannot fairly be expressed after undergoing an entire module in English on the notion of change. *Sigh*, the joys of english. Anywho, I feel enlightened after making quite a decision tonight, although I do hope my faith in this choice isn't as periodic as the thought of change was!

Friends come with dramas, and dramas bring about a fair bit of fun in life. Recently, some friends and I have drifted apart, not out of serious intention but instead allowing distance to play its part. I sat there last night, reminiscing the amazing time we had spent, only then to realise that this barrier we had created was made to be destroyed. It only takes one hello before everything automatically does its magic and it all falls perfectly in place. Many say you drift apart from people and it is a part of life, but it is in our control as to who we wish to keep. Let not time nor place overcome a smile that is worth more than effort taken to build this wall. And if it is rejection you fear after being separated for a while, the words unspoken will hold its placing, flowering once again what had once been rooted. People are amazing, in every possible way. Being caught up in our own little world is no good of an excuse. Don't be blind and leave behind the diamonds in your hands w...

It's basically past midnight and I must say, I am beyond sleepy. I guess this was a result of my utter bored self one night. Despite it being for random reasons, I happen to quite like this quote. There are so many boundaries and limitations we subconsciously place upon ourselves, only to later blame others for imprinting them in our lives. Our minds, our soul, our heart; that's our greatest war, a challenge we deny ourselves from winning. Sometimes, I would unknowingly set the standards so high for myself that I end up blaming others for setting it for me. I am my hardest critic, my stubbornest friend, my irrational partner, my foolish decisions and my high expectations. I believe that no individual will judge you as harshly as you will judge yourself, every good and every bad is seen more vividly through our own eyes. Nothing seems to be wrong with being our hardest critic or standard, this helps us grow and prosper out of our flaws to change for the better. Amazing peopl...

When all plans fail. For some horrid reason, I have been happening to fail at all set goals recently. I feel as though an overwhelming fear has leaped within me, one I cannot possibly grasp without having to lose myself. My productivity levels happen to be quite conveniently low, adding to my low state of self. It's not as though I'm undergoing depression or so, just amongst the days whereby I feel that I have been wasteful of time and very unproductive. Well, no use complaining over it, I mean the new day shall begin soon and all the pages will turn, a new beginning; or so. Goodnight guys! *well awkward if nobody actually reads this other than myself!*

There's always something that makes each of us content. Something that we have and it just cannot stop the smile beam on our face. I feel so grateful for all the things I have been blessed with. My life has flaws, but the flaws have perfection in them. I used to sit and ponder over my blog posts before, how can I write to make people interested? But sometimes it's the best once you believe in your words and give it the power it deserves by letting it flow at its own pace. It amazes me how people can change in such a short course of time. I never thought my life would quite end up this way. I had my future all thought out. But the precision of the moments of change is simply beautiful. Its about being true to yourself not because its what is expected. Let your future flow in its way. Don't hold back.

Palestine. Israel. War. Genocide. Murder. Humanity. Muslims. Children. Women. Endless casualties. They say there was only World War II, yet are we all blinded by the occurrence of World War III? We may not all be a part of this war in a physical state or form, maybe not even know anyone from Gaza, maybe haven't even heard of Palestine. Does such facts really matter when the truth lies with the bottom line. Innocent. Harmless. A whole life left to be lead. Dead. No choice. A father carries his daughter to the hospital in a pool of blood. A boy wakes up only to be told he is the only surviving member of his family. People unable to close their eyes shut because of the fear immersed in their next breath, one of uncertainty. These numbers, these statistics, these media reports we hear of are just a bunch of statistics of the amount of deaths in Gaza. Do not we realise the life behind these numbers? There are people, innocent lives, targeted, killed, destroyed of all opportunities. Is n...

There are times when you must walk beyond the voices you hear, disregard the comments and persevere to be the for the better. "You'll never be able to make it, you're something today however nothing tomorrow." I had let such remarks absorb within myself for a period of time, until my inner sasha fierce released who I truly am; my personal capabilities. They say don't pull a rock to back, or it'll eventually fly right past you. The truth within the diverted image lies within yourself, the boundaries being built only to be controlled by your own limitless self. They all said I wouldn't make it this far with mere success; I may not quite have reached there yet, but I quite certainly am making an entrance!

Maybe I'm just a tad bit obsessed with henna, I don't really know. Adorning my own hands with henna has quite easily become one of my most favourite hobbies. The simplicity and creativity associated with this spohisticated yet elegant piece of art is what draws me in all the time. I may not be the best henna artist out there, I mean there are bound to be others better, but I never stop myself from letting it flow :)

Henna is such a beautiful means of art. As a child, I used to love seeing brides have their hands adorned with henna, back and front, with patterns that seem to tell their own story. Henna is symbolic to the new life of a wedded couple, and I hope that one day I can add more meaning to it. If henna can connote a fresh beginning for two people, why can it not be used to flip the page on our impoverished society? I hope one day to be able to use the mere skills I have with henna to do my little part in this great big world. #designmyfuture.

So here I sit, feeling the urge to blog, yet not knowing what to write. Let's think about it. Change. A short story yet to be written on this topic. Initially, I went by what I thought would be the best to hear. Now I begin to question such mentality. Write what you want, not what they want to hear, for after all the best stories are the ones you can convince yourself are true. Literature is a funny little thing. I never thought I would actually enjoy writing, I quite hated it to be honest. But then there's life, surprising you just when you thought you knew it all. Nobody probably reads anything I write, but that's not a worry. I write because it's what makes me happy, and having a fair bit of an audience would be an amazing part of this experience.

I am quite certain that I do but need to spell out the opinion placed upon Muslim women in our society. Oppressed and confined. The Muslim woman is being forcefully described to have this stereotypical undermining role in society. The words compose themselves to paint a pitiful image of these woman who are in need of "sympathy". Why is it that we create opinions yet do not ask of the truth from the originating source? This propaganda of the mistreatment of Muslim women by so-called "extremists" does not parallel the reality of Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alaiyhi Wasallam) proclaimed Islam at a time where women had no rights. Daughters were being buried alive simply because of their gender. What sense did this condemn? Islam initiated the liberation of females, to the extent whereby the correct raising of a daughter is seen to be a blessing. Women were given property shares and their importance was highlighted. The Muslim ummah is dependent upon the charac...

Peace isn't when war ends. The war ends when peace prevails. It is our alter ego that resents us from the truth, forcing us to believe that we lack the control of being able to initiate peace amongst ourselves. However this inner discomfort shall remain embered until we are able to find the serenity within us that can calm the fight that lies within. We solely have the power to decide how we wish to continue our life. Although not all the variables in life remain in our hands, it is our mentality towards the way in which we respond that allows the prevalence of inner happiness. Our minds remain trapped until our hearts are able to speak and fend for the truth. Why should we not allow ourselves to chase after the happiness we yearn? Yes, patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait, however it is our choice, our ability, to search for that which is needed to calm the raging fight. The mind does not control the soul, until the soul agrees to be enslaved by the mind. Le...

Yet again, we have been blessed to experience this holy month of Ramadan. For those unaware, Ramadan is the ninth month in the Islamic calendar and the most sacred time for believers. It is the month in which Muslims all across the globe unite in the remembrance of Allah through fasting physically and spiritually and engaging in acts of worship. Subhan Allah, Ramadan is here and ever so subtly will it be gone again. I pray for the Muslim ummah to have a rewarding month filled with the mercy of Allah, the most Gracious. May we all have the strength to restrain from the haraam and participate in actions for the sake and reward of Allah SWT. Ramadan Mubarak! The first ten days (1-10) of the Blessed Month of Ramadan are the days of Mercy. So we should seek Allah's Mercy in these days. * Rab-bigh-fir war-ham wa Anta Khair-ur-Raahimeen. (Surah Al Muminun:118) Meaning: My Lord! Forgive and have mercy, for You are the Best of those who show mercy! * Ya Rabb, Allahumma arhamni Y...

Well, recently, only just a few days ago I must say, my body turned against me. With a bloated throat and a throbbing head, I could not have possibly felt any better. Seriously though. My friend, the flu, always comes to pay me a visit at the wrong time. I remember, at all exam periods during school, my nose would turn into a tap, I'd be coughing like a dog and to top it off, my voice box disappears. My mind tends to ignore the current situation of myself, being inclined to consume things which are but going to make me feel sick. Thank God I love tea, so it's a simple pleasure to have an excuse to drink 5 cups of warm tea a day. Ah the perks of being ill. To my dear body, please don't be mean to me, I mean, I feed you chocolate and keep you happy :)